Wishing It Was You
by Claire Hay
If I sit here long enough and play a vibrant tune will you stop, listen and stare?
My adoptive parents tell me this was your talent too, that you often busked on street corners and saved your takings for a brighter future. You also loved the arts, and said that you would learn how to paint in a world famous school. It was your dream to play music and sell your paintings all over the world but have you ever stopped to think of me? Will you ever recognise my brown eyes as yours or see the smile you gave me; will you be brave enough to admit you were wrong when you gave me away?
I’ve been told that as soon as I was born, I was taken from you and wrapped in a tatty brown blanket and placed in another’s arms, that you had little choice, that your own parents forced you. That was sixteen years ago, I’m a grown man now, or at least I like to think so. My adoptive parents told me that you wanted me to know when I hit this milestone, now I wonder if it means this is a sign you will finally come back for me. If you are waiting somewhere, please give me a clue.
Someone walks by and I wonder if it could be you. I understand that you were young, far too young to keep me. Your parents wanted your dreams to come true but I can’t help but feel cheated out of a mother, a real mother, one who shares my passions and fears too, someone who’s watched me grow and guided me along the way, why wasn’t that person you?
I have this longing to meet you, to be able to put flesh to your name but all traces of you are now lost. I wonder if you think of me when you play your music and if you find tranquillity as I do in this park. Did you ever come here all those years ago and play your guitar too? Maybe this is where you played; I can imagine crowds all around you as you sang a beautiful tune. How those crowds would have clapped for you and shared their riches.
Will you hear my music in the distance; will a sound fall upon your ear drum and bring you to me?
I hope that you are happy mother, that you achieved all that you wished too. I beg for the next person to walk past me to be you but until that day, I’ll simply sit here playing a tune or two just in case it finds its way to you.
Claire lives in South Wales, UK. A full-time HR Advisor, she one day hopes that writing will be her only career. A lover of tennis and writing, and has had some short stories and flash fiction published. She is currently thinking about starting her first novel.
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